Fisherman's Road

Dance Party of Newfoundland does Celtic boy-band Sons of Our Fathers .

“Today a country dies. Not as they die in Europe by enemy fire and sword, or by aggressive annexation, but by its own hand, the democratic choice of its people. By a majority vote of 6,401 of its citizens, Newfoundland today gives up its life as an individual nation in the British Commonwealth.” — The opening paragraphs of a story that appeared in the March 31, 1949 edition of the now-defunct Toronto Telegram . The article was part of a series that won the first National Newspaper Award for feature writing. Happy 61st! But then is today the actual anniversary of Confederation? Canada joined Newfoundland at one minute before midnight on March 31st, 1949. But that was apparently Ottawa time. Which would have made it 1:30 am Newfoundland time — April Fool’s Day. Which sounds about right, considering the conspiracy and related foolishness that went on to get us into bed with Canada. I was e-mailed more fuel for the fire recently — the copy of a Nov. 18, 1943 “secret” memo from Lord Beaver

The latest button for sale at Living Planet in downtown St. John's. I don't like this particular button quite as much as the one featured on the March 14th post ( Danny Smallwood? ) that transplanted Danny's hair (when it was center-parted) onto Joey's face. But it's not bad a tall. Canada's Happy Province was the slogan on Newfoundland licence plates between 1970-'72. I'm kind of partial to Oh yeah as a licence-plate slogan. As stolen from the Republic of Doyle theme song.

“Our government’s unwavering commitment to the province’s fishing and aquaculture industries is demonstrated in the fact that the budget for the Department of Fisheries and Aquaculture has increased five-fold since the Williams administration took office.” — Fisheries Minister Clyde Jackman, as quoted in a Budget 2010 press release. What a load. The success of the province’s Fisheries Department is not measured by the amount of public money it spends, but by the health of the fishery. Which is sick as a dog. And has been for a dog's age. The following quote was pulled directly from The Economy 2010 , one of six budget documents, under 2009 Highlights : “The volume of fish landings declined 8.5 per cent in 2009, while the value decreased by 19.2 per cent. The recession put downward pressure on prices for many species and reduced fishing activity.” So much for that “unwavering commitment” there Clyde. It’s not getting us anywhere. It’s also interesting to note that the vast majority

Congratulations to The Northeast Avalon Times , which celebrates its 10th anniversary this month. The great Ray Guy raises his glass to the paper in his regular Page 3 column — headlined, this edition, Gutsy newspaper stands guard . “If huge tree killers like, say, The Globe and Mail concentrate on the dithering fools in Ottawa and local chained puppies like The Telegram go through yappy motions about the House of Assembly … then who will watch the dozy dolittles on small local town councils.” The Northeast Avalon Times doesn’t take itself too seriously. Or at least editorial cartoonist Doug Bird doesn’t take himself too seriously. The cartoon in the March edition has two birds sitting in a cage. One bird looks towards the floor, and says: “Would ya look at that! It’s the tenth anniversary of The Times .” Kathryn Welbourn, the paper's editor/publisher, also edited the 2008 book of Ray Guy columns, The Smallwood years , a collection of 167 of Guy’s columns and articles from the ol

With 7 seats out of 308 in the House of Commons, NL’s voice is but a whisper. Give it time: that whisper may fade to a pin drop. In the March 3rd Throne Speech, the Harper government promised legislation to address the under-representation of Ontario, British Columbia and Alberta in the Commons. The promise is backed up by a report to be released today by the Mowat Centre, a think tank dedicated to Ontario issues. According to The Globe , which obtained a copy of the report, if Ontario was properly represented in the House, it would have 117 seats, rather than the current 106. British Columbia would jump to 40 from 36, while Alberta would have 31 rather than 28. If that configuration is adopted, the House of Commons would have 326 seats. And we’d still have 7. Shhhh. Hear that? That’s the NL pin dropping in the House of Commons. I accept the argument that provinces like Ontario, B.C. and Alberta are under-represented. The average riding in Alberta, for example, is now three times the s

It will be interesting to hear what John Crosbie has to say this afternoon about Uncle Ottawa. Why? So we can compare it to two years ago, when the Speech from the Phone (which Danny b’y calls in) was used to bitch-slap the Stevie Harper administration and the government of Canada in general. Top 3 Crosbie quotes from the 2008 Phone speech: No. 1: “In the federal forum that once mattered most, Newfoundland and Labrador is treated with little but contempt and condescension.” No. 2: “Ours is not the only provincial government to be treated with disdain by the Harper government, but no province has been treated more dishonourably.” No. 3: “Their actions are not only disingenuous but also dishonest. They have proven they cannot be trusted, but their great betrayal will do nothing to prevent us from achieving our goals on our own steam.” I couldn’t believe those lines were delivered from Crosbie’s lips — he being a federalist, not a nationalist. But then Crosbie himself has said he left his

I’ve got an article for you to read about a Newfoundland tragedy — one of the most powerful features I’ve ever edited — but you’ll have to bear with me. Some perspective first: The House of Commons standing committee on national defence committed this week to a review of search and rescue response times across the country. Hats off to MP Jack Harris, the New Democrat defence critic, for pushing for the review. The current search and rescue response times for the military’s Gander-based Cormorant helicopters work like this: The choppers must respond within 30 minutes of an emergency call between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. on weekdays. But the response time is two hours for evenings, weekends and holidays. MP Jack Harris has said those in distress deserve better, pointing out that other countries require search and rescue response within 15 minutes. And he’s right. Imagine if the fire department worked under those response times. A two-hour wait if your house burns after 4 p.m.? The public wouldn

Let’s see if I have this straight: High Liner Foods — the Lunenburg, N.S.-based seafood company — achieved some of the best financial results in its 110-year history in 2009. According to The Globe and Mail , profits rose almost 40 per cent to $20-million on sales of $627-million. A good part of that success can be traced to High Liner’s decision to purchase the marketing arm of the once strong NL fish company, Fishery Products International, in 2007. That’s the same marketing arm that Premier Danny Williams offered on two occasions to buy in 2006. Actually, Williams offered to partner with industry to purchase the marketing arm. Industry — more specifically, the Fish, Food and Allied Workers’ union — turned him down. Turned him down flat. The province is now looking to restructure the fishery under an MOU signed with fish processors and the fishermen’s union. And what will be a key component of that restructuring? A marketing arm. That’s the insanity of the fishing industry. Which is

I’ve been distracted lately so I’ve got some catching up to do … First, to Bill Barry … The west coast fish processor is going at it with the fishermen’s union, but then they’re always going at it. Before I get to the latest spat, I’ve got to backtrack to Feb. 18, 2008, when The Globe and Mail carried a feature on Barry ( The fishery is dead; long live the fishery ). Barry predicted that over the next 5 years the fishery is in for more change. Plants will close, and yet more fishermen and plant workers will be forced to turn their backs on the sea. Barry was pretty much on the mark. He then he took a shot at the union: “the fishermen’s union will lose its power — and the quicker the better.” So there’s no love loss between the two, just so you know. ••• Quick tangent. Barry also had thoughts on the costs of Confederation with Canada: “Newfoundlanders were the most self-reliant, independent group of people probably on the face of the Earth. It was a place that was hard to live in, and

There are some hard tickets in downtown St. John’s, I can tell you. Imagine taking Danny’s hair and superimposing it over Joey’s face. The gall. The guts. The laff I had. The image was on a lapel button I got for Christmas, a gift purchased downtown at Living Planet. I keep the button on the bookshelf next to my Clyde Lied bumper sticker, and Moon Man licence plate. Of course, the button isn’t the least bit realistic. Even if Joey did have hair, the blowdryers back then weren’t powerful enough to mold such a glorious divide. Still, Joey could have just paved the center cut prior to an election, like he did everything else. The button raises some hard questions: Should Joey have worn an '80s wig all along? Should Danny wear horned rims and bowties? And finally — did Danny change his hairdo because he came across one of the novelty buttons and reality smacked him in the face? That's not the official story (some Florida nurse messed with the premier's hair when he was comatos

Or is it that we don’t understand how the justice system works? “At the time (early ’50s) it was still widely held, as analysis of the local scene have disclosed, that ‘a person who got something out of the government’ was not really doing anything wrong; and if he was actually in the government, but did not gain financially from it, then ‘there must be something wrong with him.’ The notion of ‘to the victor go the spoils’ was generally accepted as right and just by politicians and people alike.” — A passage from the 2000 book, Alfred Valdmanis and the Politics of Survival by Gerard P. Bassler. ••• Latvian-born Alfred Valdmanis was Joey Smallwood’s director of economic development in the early days of Confederation. Valdmanis — who was later accused of being a Nazi collaborator during the Second World War — was charged in April 1954 with two counts of defrauding the Newfoundland government of hundreds of thousands of dollars. In a surprise move in September of that year, Valdmanis pl

Blasts from NL’s past YEARS PAST “In the year 1846 the great seal-killer, Capt. John Barron, arrived from the ice fields in April with the largest trip of seals on record to date, viz., 9,600. In 1848 a vessel named the “Nimrod,” owned by Capt. Barron and commanded by Capt. Coady, arrived on the 18th of March with 8,500 prime seals.” — The Times and General Commercial Gazette , St. John’s, March 1892. LETTER TO THE EDITOR Dear Mr. Editor — About three months have elapsed since it has been our pleasure to behold the sun. Astronomers seem to have failed to acquaint us as to the protracted eclipse, which has affected this remote spot. Many and conflicting have been the opinions expressed concerning the unhappy occurrence. The event has had a somewhat extraordinary effect on those more immediately interested in the sun’s occasional revolutions. It’s reappearance would, however, relieve us all of existing gloomy apprehensions and inspire us with an exuberance of joy. — Yours truly, F. — T

“We (should) just change the name baby seal to ice rats. People don’t want to club baby seals, but everybody wants to put down ice rats. — Mark Critch, as quoted in a September 2006 guest column for The Independent newspaper. ••• I’ve written it before (last week, in fact) and I’ll write it again, Mark Critch is a funny Newfoundlander. Which is saying somethin', because we’re all characters. We’re all funny, or at least funny lookin’. Excuse me — can’t help myself. I’ve got to mention a couple more Critchisms: “If we can get a Beatle because of the seal hunt, just think of how many of them are going to be here next year for the first annual ‘punch-a-beaver-in-the-stomach festival.’ Ah, it’ll be fun — we’ll have the puppy toss, kitten-kicking booth, just think of the stars who will come here for that.” And this one … “Pamela Anderson was in Canada to protest the seal hunt. She says she’s embarrassed to be Canadian because of the seal hunt. Like we’re so proud of her. She’s one to t

It took the sea a thousand years, A thousand years to trace The granite features of this cliff, In crag and scarp and base. It took the sea an hour one night, An hour of storm to place The sculpture of these granite seams Upon a woman's face. — Erosion , by E.J. Pratt of Western Bay. ••• This Friday (March 12th) marks the one-year anniversary of the crash of Cougar Flight 491. Several weeks after the tragedy, Premier Danny Williams told the House of Assembly that his government planned to erect a memorial to the 17 victims. To quote Williams: "At the appropriate time and in the appropriate way, we will be honouring those who lost their lives with a memorial.” I would say the time is appropriate about now. And I’m sure people are anxious for details on the “appropriate way.” But there’s still no word. The local media reports today (March 10th) that the premier isn’t in the province and a date has yet to be set for the legislature to reopen. My vote is for a memorial at Ladies L

Were kisses all the joys in bed, One woman would another wed. — William Shakespeare, Sonnets to Sundry Notes of Music, IV … The signs are pretty clear that a kiss is being exchanged between Steve and Danny and they’re on their way to making up. So what if the PM’s lips are planted on Danny’s arse? A kiss is still a kiss. Don’t be fooled — the federal Conservatives are still no friends of ours. Harper’s crowd doesn’t want to be shut out in NL again come the next federal election (0 for 7 in 2008), but they will be if Danny’s agin them. If Danny B’y uses his considerable pipes to broadcast the ABC song from glen to glen and down the seaside, Harper will be history. And make no mistake, what Danny says and does makes waves across Canada. He may be God the Father in NL, but he’s practically Jesus Christ on the mainland. With a local approval rating of 93 per cent (probably 100 per cent for the new parted-to-the-side hairdo), what Danny Williams says here pretty well goes. Arse-kissing sign

It’s not often that Newfoundland and Greece are mentioned in the same breath, but it’s been the case lately. The latest such breath comes today from the Financial Express , the only English financial daily in Bangladesh, of all places. A columnist with the paper, David Hale, says the European Union could ask the Greek government — which is $440 billion in debt and teetering on the financial edge in terms of defaulting on its loans — to suspend its parliament and turn over powers to a commission government. A commission made up of six bureaucrats (three from Athens; three from Brussels) would guarantee Greece’s debt and rule the country until it regained solvency. Sound familiar? How could it not. It's not easy to forget one of the most embarrassing, desperate chapters in our history. Newfoundland was ruled by a seven-member Commission Government between 1934 and 1949 — the only country in history to voluntarily surrender its democracy (in our case, Responsible Government). For 15 y

“I believe in political patronage. Leaders shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed about looking after their supporters. Patronage is a good thing. It’s essential to the democratic process. It makes the party system work. We should have more patronage, not less.” — John Crosbie, No Holds Barred. ••• This may be news to you, but it’s not easy to produce a NL quote on demand — there being so many beauties to choose from. Take today, for example, with John Crosbie in the news. Or his name anyway. I grabbed his book, No Holds Barred , from the shelf to mine a quote, and I can’t put it down. Crosbie quotes are like fish in the sea — there’s always another, until they’re gone. I’m not picking on our beloved Codfather, who retired a few years ago and lives in the poshest retirement home in Town, Government House, the people’s palace. Crosbie should be praised at this point in his considerable political life, not pummeled. But then praise is the subhead of today's political potato. In its Thur

“Breathes there the man, with soul so dead, Who never to himself hath said, This is my own my native land! — Sir Walter Scott By today’s standards, Sir Wally’s words are a tad sexist. Maybe poetry should be updated like the Canadian anthem? All this Speech-from-the-Conservative-Throne talk about rewording Oh Canada to make it more gender-neutral — removing thy “sons” command — makes me fear for the Ode to Newfoundland . And the Ode to Labrador . (Yes, there is one.) Lines from the Newfoundland Ode to worry about include: “And Summer spreads her hand.” Not to mention … “As loved our fathers so we love.” Next to go then will be references to God … “God guard thee, God guard thee, God guard thee Newfoundland.” But then Newfoundland doesn’t need guarding. It’s all been given away. Couldn’t resist. Sir Cavendish Boyle, who composed the words to the Ode in 1901, is probably turning over in his grave. So is Dr. Harry Paddon, who penned the Ode to Labrador in 1927. Lines in the Labrador Od

Blasts from NL's past “The two bodies recovered from the wrecked steamer Florizel on Saturday arrived by train last night, and were taken to the morgue, where they were identified. One of the bodies was that of John J. Connolly, butcher, who was drowned. The corpse was in a good state of preservation and was neither marked nor broken. The other was that of the Seaman John Lambert. The deceased was not drowned, and evidently met death by being hit by wreckage. The head was badly crushed and bruised, with a deep cut on the left jaw. Both bodies were coffined by Undertaker Carnell, and will be interred today.” — The Daily News , St. John’s, March 5, 1918 ••• “On Saturday night last a sealers’ meeting was held in the Casino Theatre at St. John’s when two of the United Kingdom Commissioners addressed those assembled. Just who inspired this meeting is not quite clear. There was no advance notice given in the city newspapers. It was late Saturday afternoon when the skippers were given th

Danny Williams, the 'arsehole' Mark Critch got away with one last night on national TV. Talk about guts — he called Danny Williams an “arsehole.” Mind you, Critch was doing a skit with the premier on This Hour has 22 Minutes , but an “arsehole” is an “arsehole,” even in jest. The crowd at the local chapter of the Mother Corp. must be some proud of Critch — doing what they can only dream of. They’re pissed because Danny ignored them in terms of interviews about his heart and having it mended in the U.S. It must also have stung that NTV broke the heart-operation scoop. The CBC may or may not agree with Bob Wakeham’s comments on the local CBC Morning Show in bringing up a detail of the premier’s private life, but they stand by one of their own. Critch was wicked. Over the course of the skit, he got away with screaming in the premier’s face, trying to scare the life out of Danny's poor old heart. Having the premier run his fingers through his hair. And calling the mighty Danny

It’s worth your while to pick up a Grade 5 social studies textbook to see what our 10-year-olds are learning in school today about Newfoundland and Labrador. Much of the history is incredibly out of date. Let’s start with the population: did you know there are about 600,000 of us? Well, that’s what the textbook says — only the figure is wrong. Way wrong. There are actually 510,000 people living in Newfoundland and Labrador today, according to the Finance Department’s economic research and analysis division. The 600,000 figure was apparently the population in 1991, the year the textbook — The Atlantic Edge, Living in Newfound and Labrador — was published. Since 1991 — the year before the northern cod fishery was shut down, the first of many fishery closures — our population has dropped by 90,000 people. That’s 90,000. The fishery collapse was described as the biggest layoff in Canadian history, comparable to the complete shut down of central Canada’s auto industry. You wouldn’t know th

“What we are dealing with here is not just a piddling little fishery that keeps half a million people in Newfoundland alive and functioning, not just a little resource which provides a bit of food that could be replaced by a million chickens or something. It is one of the great wonders of the world, one of the great animal populations, which is part of one of the most complex ecosystems that has developed and thrives in a very hostile and difficult part of the ocean. It ought to be one of our glories to protect and preserve.” — The late Dr. Leslie Harris, as quoted in the 1998 Michael Harris book, Lament for an Ocean, the Collapse of the Atlantic Cod Fishery: A True Crime Story . ••• Did you happen to see the picture in Monday’s Telegram of the 70-pound cod caught off Newfoundland's south coast by the crew of the Belle Isle Banker ? The cod being landed are said to be as huge (50 to 70 pounds a piece) as the days prior to the shut down of the south coast cod fishery in 1993. Back