Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Mary Walsh for Governor General

What are the chances of a Newfoundlander or Labradorian being appointed Canada’s next
Governor General?

Not friggin likely.

Such appointments are usually strategic.

Take current Governor General Michaëlle Jean.

She’s black, a woman, a francophone, married to a divorced older white guy, a former journalist, and Haitian born (her late grandmother was a dirt-poor single mother who made ends meet sewing hems by candlelight).

Her selection by former Prime Minister Paul Martin was seen as a stroke of genius, drawing Liberal votes from minorities, women, men, Quebec, and poor people everywhere.

Jean also turned out to be a raw seal-meat eater.

Like I said — genius.

What could Stephen Harper get out of appointing one of us crowd?

Not much, unless he appoints Jake from Republic of Doyle.

Conservative ratings might go up then across Canada.

At the same time, Steve would run the risk of Jake blackening his lamps.

Which Jake tends to do to those who have it comin’.

The PM is reportedly on the lookout for a new Governor General.

Jean’s five-year term is up this September and Harper reportedly won’t be extending it.

The media has speculated on a crowd of possible candidates, including:

Wheelchair athlete and Man in Motion Rick Hansen.

Former top soldier and diplomat John de Chastelain.

National Inuit leader Mary Simon.

Inuit president Tapiriit Kanatami.

Reform Party founder Preston Manning.

Noel Kinsella, Speaker of the Senate.

And Rock ’em Sock ’em Don Cherry.

National commentators say the next prospective Governor General — Canada’s 28th — “must” be bilingual and “scrupulously” non-partisan, but that’s not necessarily the case.

Ed Schreyer and Ray Hnatyshyn are just two of the former partisans who’ve served as the Crown’s representative in Canada.

And neither was bilingual.

After 61 years of Confederation, a Newfoundlander or Labradorian has never been appointed Governor General.

We could conclude that Canada has something against us — the same way Quebecers do — but then we’re accused of being paranoid separatists.

The same way we’re paranoid separatists when the point is raised that a Newfoundlander or Labradorian hasn’t been appointed to the Supreme Court since 1949.

The Supreme Court never rules our way — not with the upper Churchill (Quebec won that fight) or offshore oil (Ottawa won that one), the only files that have counted — but that’s the paranoia creeping in again.

If Stevie asked me for my advice I’d recommend Mary Walsh for Governor General.

She’d more than eat a seal — she’d gut it.

She’d more than make Harper wait before proroguing Parliament — she (or Marg Delahunty anyway) would gut him.

1 comment:

All Things Newfoundland said...

If I had to put money on it I would say Mary Simon. Harper has made it a point the last few years to try and assert Canadian Soveirnty in the North and she would be a good ambassador for that and likely make him popular among abaroginals in this country.

She would be a refreshing change from the journalistic types we have been saddled with the last few years (No offence Ryan).

I think she would be a great choice.