Friday, February 26, 2010

Iron Dan

“On a much larger scale I doubt there was more panic among the population when Abraham Lincoln was shot. When you are lifted up to Danno’s giddy heights the sheep become exceedingly skittish when the shepherd disappears. Most of the Cabinet puppets looked as if they had their strings cut.”
— Ray Guy, Feb. 21st edition of The Business Post, commenting on the hullabaloo over Premier Danny Williams’ decision to have his heart surgery carried out in the U.S.

Are you sick to death yet of all the talk about Danny Williams’ heart and where he chose to have it mended?

Too bad, so sad, the debate still rages — at home and abroad.

I half expected the to and fro over the premier’s new hairdo to overtake the heart operation furor, but a Telegram poll this week seems to have tamed the hair debacle.

The Tely poll — which is not scientific (who knew?) — reveals that 40 per cent of respondents feel the premier should style his hair combed to the side (the new style); 14 per cent say he should part it down the middle (the old style); 3 per cent recommend he colour it (a la Leo Puddister); 4 per cent voted for him to curl it (see Brad Gushue); and a whooping 39 per cent feel he should grow a mullet.

Better yet, how about a coloured mullet?

Danny’s a bit of a nationalist so how about pink down the back, white on the sides and green on top?

As for the heart, maybe he should have spent an extra few bucks and had an Iron Man-type thingy implanted in his chest.

We have a tendency to elevate our premiers to superhero status, so why not have them look the part.

Look out world, here comes Iron Dan.

And what a place to showcase the new look — the Vancouver Olympics and NL Day.

It's a little late, but maybe Iron Dan could lend a hand with the men's hockey.

Iron Dan could stand behind the opponent's net and instead of a red light flashing every time Canada scores, the premier could tear open his shirt and show the neon glow from his chest.

Wouldn't that just warm the nation?

We'd own the podium then.

Or Iron Dan could destroy it.

Just sayin' ...

There’s an interesting column in the National Post this week by William Watson (“Own the surgery,” Feb. 26th edition).

In all the fuss over whether Danny should or shouldn’t have had his heart surgery in Florida, Watson writes that a couple of points have been lost.

First, Newfoundland and Labrador is a colourful, but tiny place.

How colourful?

Very — especially “if the TV ads are to be believed (especially the ones that make it look like some rubied, emeralded place out of the Wizard of Oz, which surely must have benefited from Photoshop).”

Wicked, where else would Iron Dan come from but some “rubied, emeralded place?”

How small?

Just over 508,000 people live here (including 26,300 in Labrador), which works out to 1 in every 66 Canadians.

I would argue we've had more superheros — from Marg Delahunty and Captain Newfoundland to Sailor White and Iron Dan. (Not sure if Snook or Donnie Dumphy count.)

If the province were a city, we would be the 10th largest in Canada.

Point is, we can’t expect all surgeries to be offered at the few hospitals we have here.

Watson’s second point: had Danny gone to a hospital in mainland Canada he might have bumped a Canadian who was in the queue ahead of him.

“If an American died while waiting for the operating room Mr. Williams barged his way into, we don’t really care.”

Watson was only joking, pointing out that in the States bumping doesn’t actually occur: rather, supply responds to demand.

Let the debate continue …

Meantime, to play on a quote from Ray Guy: “God save our Iron Dan.”

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